New year....new priorities...

As 2009 is coming to a close, many different reflections of the past year have been constantly running through my head... I have been thinking back on both the positive and negative things that have occurred. It’s upsetting that the negative have outweighed the positive. -_-;;;
For one thing, I almost lost my life in the stupidest way possible. You learn from these mistakes, I guess. On a positive note, however, I have done a lot in the year of 2009. I made it through high school, and graduated ranking in the top ten percent. I got accepted into college(s). I had amazing friends, and hung out moreso than I have in the past. Though some of these friendships have fizzled out, I still have come to see people for who and what they truly are.
Sadly, all good things must come to an end.

As I reached graduation, I could not wait until college. However, within three weeks of school starting, I got myself into trouble. =( However, I am okay! Thanks to two of my friends, (who I was not very close to…until this year..) I’m alright. =) Though most of the people I hang out with do not ‘approve’ or ‘like’ them, I am forever grateful to those two people. Without them, I really think that I would not be here to this day.
Yet again, maybe a month and a half later, I got myself into trouble…AGAIN. =( The first time was not my fault, but this time, I’ll admit, was out of PURE STUPIDITY. Not only was it stupid, but I had a lack of control. Again, I thought I was going to be dead…but I’m not (obviously)…Thanks to ONE friend (whom I am sad to say we grew apart). It sucks, but people change. I will admit that I have. Everyone has. It’s a way of life.

As the new year approaches in less than 24 hours, I must say that I will set new goals for myself. I cannot continue to live so recklessly. I now know where my priorities lie.

This is an extremely honest post…judge me if you wish to. I don’t care anymore.

Bring it on, 2010.

I don't think ...

...that I will miss anyone else as much as I will miss you.
I do wish that I could say that this is not a 'goodbye', but a 'see you soon'...
However, what you said to me tonight has led me to believe that we might not ever see each other again. Or at least for a long time.

But I have hope that we will meet again.

So until then,

Farewell, and good luck. <3

You've got everyone fooled

except me.

Have fun, though. I mean it.

In My fantasy, I'm a pantomime

I'll just move my hands and everyone sees what I mean.

I'm starting over. FRESH.

I cut all of my hair off again. Why, you ask? Because I felt like it. Sure, my dad got upset. My mother supported it, though, only because of the reason I gave her. To cut all of my hair off is a metaphor to let go of all the excess things in life. Hair gets annoying, annoying to a point where I begin to hate it. And when I do, I cut it. Just like what I should do when things in life annoy me. When I begin to hate things in life, I'll cut them from it permanently, to avoid any kind of drama. Because I sure don't need any more drama in my life than what I've already got. I've got way too much shit going down in my life that pretty much is making me even more physically and emotionally sick than I already am.

All in all, things aren't going right. I'm still not over something that happened in JANUARY. I'm still doing crappy in school. I still think that I'm an outcast among ALL of my friends because I'm a year or two or three younger than them. But the funny thing is, I'm pretty much more mature than most of them. So I don't understand why I'm still left out of certain things. Maybe I have no real friends...or not as many as I thought I did. Don't get me wrong, not ALL of them are immature. I have a few friends who I feel I can truly relate to. Nonetheless, this is simply a mindless rant.


Fuck this.